Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Chilly Nights

September 13.
Night is so quiet here with empty tents.
Crickets chirp in a reserved sort of way, my ceiling fan hums.
A familiar almost comforting chill hits my skin on a long walk to the flush toilet.
Days are shortening exponentially, harkening back to a time not so long ago when every hour of daylight was a hope of warmth and radiance, pulsing through miles before the dark cold sparkle of night set in.
You're pushing through that now and I think about you all the more.
Le ciel est a tout le monde.
And lately I think about different places. That they grow us, but into a surprising acceptance that nothing happens there that doesn't happen here.
Sarah once told me life in France is still just life... only French.
How brilliant.
Montana. France. Washington. the Virginias.
Just life. Happening.

The only views from this cabin are the windowed doors and a skylight. I crawled onto my roof today, detailed my portal a la ciel.
I lay here now wondering these things, feeling alone, missing your strength.
What clarity comes from pondering the heavens?
I might build a ladder to attach to the cabin, or ghetto rig the sky light to open all the way; like a portal back to fairy tale land.
How odd to find myself needing you to root me.
Not knowing where or how to proceed from here I put my grumbling belly to bed.
Tomorrow is another opportunity, in the midst of shortening light, always under the same sky.

September 14.
How I love thee.
The way a day sinks into rest; as if my anxious ways could set over a horizon. As if the vibrance left of the days' color IS the light into my tunnel.
Insignificance and purpose all reflecting in a night sky.
Light. Color. And the appreciation for all of it when there is little around me. How brilliant each trace is.
This Earth around me breathes an excited content to nestle it's creatures in dirt and gentle breeze.

Sunday, September 5, 2010


Harvest Moon Pumpkin Ale stared back at me from the grocery store cooler tonight. I thumbed through yellow and red sunflowers, then settled into Etzler with a plate full of Indian feast.
I retreat to this room - glowing with warm wood, crimson curried colors: nature and art.
With a fan on, "Be Thankful" candle lit, and window half down I collapse into night.
After a blowing quick rain storm the driveway glistens wet. Crickets and a few lingering ciacadas sing the starlit tune.
Peace. Joy.
I smile - realizing - finally. I am here. now.
With deep breaths of relief my eyes fade shut.
No music. No phone.
here. for the harvest.