I was trying to remember how I've rung in the last decade of New Years. MOST years have been pretty straight forward since joining the Outdoor Trails family; meet up with Scott and camp out in Arcadia with the Odyssey Adventure Racing / OT crew, but there have been a few exceptions. The year Cindy and I danced around while Stewart was at work, the year I spent my first night in Allendale, the year I brought a brief beau to North Creek, the year I depressingly just went to bed around 9pm, and one of my favorites; cross country skiing in Glacier National Park.
After some mental sifting I realized none of those New Years Eve activities necessarily dictated what the rest of that year would bring. Which helped me overcome the disappointment of a canceled New England adventure, and the search for *the epic awesome* experience that would perfectly culminate 2010 and ring in 2011.
Not to be a grinch - I mean, I've been having a wonderful Christmas - New Years week. But isn't it funny? the emphasis and stress we put on having perfect holiDAYs? Isn't any day just as likely to be epic and amazing as the rest? And isn't it most likely that the memories we'll cherish most are moments of surprise? Honestly most planning just stresses me out and predisposes me to have expectations. What a slippery slope - expectations.
So I relaxed, threw on a black dress, cowboy boots and some mascara and spent the evening with laid back buddies at an over crowded bar downtown enjoying live music. This morning I spent hours cultivating creative endeavors and found myself wandering the streets of Fincastle on a rainy afternoon with Carrie.
After days of shifting plans and surprises our conversation revealed all the beauty of letting go, living from faith, joy in surprises, and the timelessness of friendship.
On my chilly rainy drive to meet Carrie, Virginia Coalition's "Gotta Get Home This Year" pumped from my stereo speakers. A song I became smitten with about this time last year.
"Something I can't live without. Something like a perfect destination. If I get there, I swear I'm never leaving. Oh it's there I know I can believe it. Gotta get home this year...."
And that elusive lesson which so frequently slips out of my wisdom resurfaced. That home is fluid. And life is more about where you're at internally than externally.
So I suppose if I were to have a new years resolution it would be about that. To live from an internal place of "home". And to balance my life in a way which encourages me to do this.
What are the hopes and fears of your year?