Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Life is a wild ride of elation and tears. Maybe I ask for it to be, in a sense. Regardless of whether it's sought on not - last week ran the gamut of emotional range. Everything happens and changes - so fast sometimes. Or not quick enough. Which leaves me thankful... God's timing is perfect. Because history has proven - my idea of perfect timing is pretty screwed up. Anyway- the point is, I've been needing nature. So I bust my butt at the coffee shop, and gear shop... run to 24 hours of reboot in the Grayson Highlands... bust it again for a couple days... and flow into one of the most beautiful river trips of the summer. Meanwhile, life is happening. I'm leaving the full time job I've had for the past year, returning to an old love of a job - and still very much sorting through where to live and for how long. This crazy beautiful thing happened the past few days. I started slip sliding down into a sad, dark, lonely place... reevaluating relationship, etc. And with steadfast quiet strength so much love came out of the woodwork. A long Fincastle walk with Dacia and Maya. A slumber party with Hillary. A starry eyed porch-sitting dawn with Bones. Scheming adventures with Elaine. A day recap with Sarah. And I'm starting to realize... maybe these days, and these years aren't so much spinning my wheels or restarting... maybe they're just a long eddy out to read what comes next. Maybe I'm not in the place right now to dig in and paddle hard into unknown rapids. Perhaps with the years and scars I've learned - when to plunge in, and when to scout it out. Crossing eddy lines, staying in the calm, and deliberate finessed strokes when the time is right... now that is something to be proud of.