I took a position as interim youth director January 8. The pay is small, transition rocky, and self-questioning immense. I've had two official meetings with a group of 4or less high school students.
The pastor of this church calls my life, the AT, shoot probably everything I'm about right now my "walkabout". Those of you who saw Australia know where I'm going with this. Those of you who haven't- should. (see the movie that is). Humor me. Google it. Wikipedia will tell you
Walkabout refers to a rite of passage where Australian Aborigines would undergo a journey during adolescence and live in the wilderness for a period as long as six months.[1] In this practice they would trace the paths, or "songlines", that their people's ceremonial ancestors took, and imitate, in a fashion, their heroic deeds. Merriam-Webster, however, defines the noun as a 1908 coinage that refers primarily to "a short period of wandering bush life engaged in by an Australian aborigine as an occasional interruption of regular work", with the only mention of "spiritual journey" coming in a usage example from a latter-day travel writer.
He never says hike, walk, AT, journey. He says walkabout. He doesn't dwell on my unassuredness of what life may bring the next hours, days, weeks, months. He seems amused, and perhaps in a small way, delighted.
Sometimes I wonder if God has revealed something to him I've been left out of the loop on.
I read something in my Esther bible study today. I was sitting in a comfy arm chair in the church lobby. It was after I spilt my "choffee" all over everything, before a church member cornered me with another idea/ task. Beth Moore basically said the Devil takes delight in replacing our potential for joy and content with stress and worry.
Light bulb.
Let's save you and me both from the wordiness of fleshing out details of applying this to my life. Sufficient to say I've been hugely stressed and barely joyful lately.
A day away from the house afforded me fresh perspective on a full but hungry plate I juggle : youth director, freelanced wrestling pictures, studding Geronimo, census tests, Glacier Institute, Center for Structural & Functional Neuroscience Program Coord.
Lonely, but eyes starry I've made it through another day.
Somehow I am sick of AT lingo, sick of wanting and not knowing, sick of feeling sad.
Hike your own hike?
or just... walkabout.
~ some of you no doubt have opinions as to what I should do with the remaining 440 miles of my AT journey. some of you find me edgy about this topic.One of my favorite restaurants in Missoula is Food For Thought.~ Consider:
It's not that we're scared
It's just that it's delicate
So why do you fill my sorrow
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place you've know
And why do you sing Hallelujah
If it means nothing to you
Why do you sing with me at all?
We might live like never before
When there's nothing to give
Well how can we ask for more
We might make love in some sacred place
The look on your face is delicate
So why do you fill my sorrow
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place you've know
And why do you sing Hallelujah
If it means nothing to you
Why do you sing with me at all?
(DR lyrics)
Sometimes walkabout spans something larger than you intended it. Rivers wind. I'm just flowing.
=*
1 comment:
Very nice post; I first saw the whole movie of Australia en route to Israel to document a Holy Land Pilgrim with 700 Christians from all over the world, in fact 22 from Papau, New Guinea. It was an amazing trip and full of spiritual love. The movie Australia got me because it is about redemption and reckoning; now I got severely sick in 2015 and had to "lose myself to find myself" like that commercial says, never saw the commercial before ran across your post but I own Australia and really love that movie. I did a search for Galapa and found your post, it helped on a rough morning as I made such progress but have hit a wall and need to find the strength to realize where I have come from, how much progress I have made, and what I need to to do get over this bad patch. Thank you and God Bless You.
Brad
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